There was a time when this wasn’t always so in my life…
Being a free spirited, ambitious, entrepreneur is not easy, especially if one did not grow up in a family, nor environment surrounded by success, positive role models and positive reinforcement. In fact, the nick name I had as a child was the dumb one and my mother once told me I should go work for Denny's restaurant, because they can make $3.00 tips per table, because I had no future, either that or find something where I can just sit and smile all day and my dad pretty much thought I was a hopeless case, so he gave up on me while I was finishing high school and just let me do what I wanted while he focused on his failing business.
THE DABBS CURSE - from the time I was young, failure and disapproval followed me everywhere. I was a shy chubby misfit, with knots in my hair and my mother dressed me poorly. I was bullied, ostracized, rejected, teased and put in "special classes or schools" because I had what they called a "learning disability." People who were close to my family, thought it was funny and cute to use the term "the Dabbs Curse" because my dad was always struggling to get ahead and my brother, well...lets just say he's in a different reality than most of us, basically we were a whole family of misfits, losers and failures who people loved to tease and joke about.
I Was A Target for Narcissist, Sociopaths and Bullies
In school I was an outcast who couldn’t fit into any click, even the misfit click! As I said before, I was bullied and rejected everyday! I hated school and going to gym class gave me sever anxiety attacks, because that was a place where the mean girls can really pick on me, laugh at my lack of coordination and push me from behind, in lines and into the lockers. Sever stress and anxiety became a normal part of my life, so I did what I could to stuff my feelings down so I wouldn’t feel the pain.
My identity became the nice, quite girl who smiles and pleases all the time. I mean I was ALWAYS smiling and people thought I was just always happy, but the reality was that this was my coping mechanism out of fear of getting beat up and trying both not to feel the fear and extreme insecurity’s I had inside of me and most importantly, not let those feelings of fear and extreme insecurity’s show!
However, being the quite, smiling, nice girl makes you a strong target for bullies, narcs and Sociopaths.
In my early 20's, I was lured into a relationship for a year with a very abusive, sociopath con man. He took everything from me, I was homeless, penniless and I barely escaped with my life, because he pinned me to a bed and tried to strangle me one evening until I swore to him that I will only love him, so my family actually had to send me out of the country to escape him, because he always came after me.
After him and no matter how much I said to myself that this is the last abusive relationship, most the relationships that I attracted were emotionally or physically abusive, some kept a close eye on me as if I were their prisoner, others yelled at me and put me down daily, cheated on me, disrespected me and caused me to question my existence. I even had narcissistic friends who abused and bullied me and the more they would abuse and bully me, the more I was drawn to wanting to save and please them!
BROKE, BROKE, BROKE!
You know how there’s always that one thing in your life that no matter what you have tried, all of the courses, investments, diets, visualizations, books and so on you do, there is your ONE big issue whether it be love, weight loss, money, career, clear skin, that you can’t seem to find your key to unlocking your own secrets? Well, money and career success was my BIGGEST challenge that I just couldn’t seem to figure out why NOTHING was working for me, all of the affirmations, positive thinking, working late hours, going into adrenal fatigue and putting my nose to the grind stone, doing things I didn’t like to do, NOTHING was working for me, I was still consistently broke and struggling in building my dream career and I gave up many, many, MANY times! I was so broke a few years ago, that I lived off of dandelion weeds that I picked outside and cooked them with rice, sometimes I would be lucky enough to have beans for protein!
Chaos and Mess
My life was also full of chaos and mess, I mean my car was always dirty and messy, so I would never offer a ride to anyone and I would always hope that no one would ask for a ride from me, I was embarrassed to have anyone over, because I felt like the place looked like red neck, trailer trash and it was always messy even the day after the cleaning ladies cleaned it and I was so disorganized in my papers and my life. I tried time management systems, reading books on organizing, making lists, scheduling in cleaning time, beating myself up for the disorganization and messes, crying because I couldn’t be the “perfect” image of what a woman is supposed to be and I hated myself, because I wanted so bad to be successful, but how can I be successful if my shoes and clothes are everywhere, I’m always running late, my clothes and shoes were wrinkled with holes and little stains most of the time, my closet was crammed with clothes I didn’t even remember having and my mind was the textbook definition of having extreme ADD/ADHD…oh YIKES…I have ADD/ADHD, now I absolutely KNOW that I'm messed up and I can NEVER be success in my life…”sigh!”
Self-hate and suicidal
Ever since I can remember, I was suicidal even as a kid. I used to eat apples and collect the seeds, because I heard that you could make arsenic with it, so I was planning on collecting enough seeds to make my own poison. I made many attempts over the years and chickened out. I absolutely HATED myself and I HATED my life, I thought that God has cursed me for some bad that I did in this life or my past life and I really believed that God had a “special click” that I was not allowed to be a part of!
In 2009, I had lost everything and without having any other options, I moved in with my boyfriend who emotionally abused me, yelled A LOT, rejected me and put me down almost everyday and everyday for 2 or 3 years I would go to sleep and wake up wondering how I was going to end my life and asking God to please help me end my life. After my last “get serious” and actually “get organized” and plan out my suicide in “responsible” detail, by making sure that all of my affairs are in order and that there will be minimal stuff that anyone would have to do upon my suicide, I went to bed that night and had nausea and stomach cramping so sever I couldn’t sleep and I woke up very early the next morning vomiting like I’ve never done before. There was no stomach flu or food poisoning reason for this. I spent the whole day in bed not able to move much to avoid throwing up again. At this point in my life I was already pretty much an expert on chakras, personal power, mind body connection, (obviously I was too caught up in my own problems to use what I knew) so I knew that our stomach is connected to our emotions and power center of our body. Sometimes when we have stomach issues it means that our inner self is trying to tell us something and I knew that this was my message to stop with the suicidal, my life sucks, victim mentally and take back my power, because suicide and crying over my life is my easy way out (pattern of my life) and what is keeping me stuck in the first place.
By letting my finances, my career and the narcs around me dictate and control how I should feel about myself and my life, means that I am giving all of my power and life force to them and that is why I felt like I was hopeless and helpless and my life had no meaning!
I decided it was time to think and feel differently and take back my power!
I surrendered to just being me and figuring out who I really am and what makes me happy…. well, actually it’s not as easy as that, I had to do some work on myself first….
See, I TRULY BELIEVED that I needed to find some wealthy guy to save me by loving me and supporting me, I TRULY BELIEVED that once I make LOTS of money and my ship comes in then all of the stress, anxiety and life’s hardships will be gone and then I can “deserve” to relax, have fun and be happy, I TRULY BELIEVED that my boyfriend needed to change and be more loving and attentive before I can feel loved, confident and happy, I thought that he was the reason why I felt unloved and unvalued. I TRULY BELIEVED that I needed my career to be successful to be a allowed to be happy and a part of this world and to be accepted, otherwise I was a useless piece of trash, I TRULY BELIEVED that I couldn’t have friends, love and acceptance, until I made lots of money and had both career and financial success, I TRULY BELIEVED that not being able to create a beautiful perfectly clean home, clean car and not being organized not only made me less of woman, but a horrible woman and therefore I had no right to be a part of this world, because if I can’t be perfect enough, then I’m not enough of a woman to have the right to live in this world and be happy. I TRULY BELIEVED that my right to existence, love, happiness, peace of mind, laughter, fun, acceptance, socializing, friendships, great food and wine, having confidence and simply being happy in my own skin and loving myself depended on having all of the above!
It took going through so much pain and sadness in my life, expensive investments and failures with business and money coaches, consistent failures, debts and throwing up to help me to realize, its time to do things differently, just start listening to myself and TRULY BELIEVE IN MYSELF!
IT ALL STARTS FROM THE INSIDE
I took a few steps back and I stopped investing in the coaches who told me that following their online marketing plan or their simple 5-step system was going to change my life in 90 days or jump me to the top of the ladder of success instantly, I stopped beating myself up for not being able to instantly manifest money, clients or something that will save me from debt by doing a vision board and a few affirmations. Instead, I started working on my confidence, self-esteem, personal beliefs about myself, and my own personal power. Believe me, every cell of my body kept wanting to run back to my old ways and invest in those over night success immediate gratification coaches, which to be honest with you I did give in a couple of times and invest and both of those times, I ended up getting stuck again, my business that suddenly took off crashed again and I was now in financial debt to these coaches! By the way, on a side note many of these coaches are AMAZING with a great track record, but from my experience you have to be ready by first investing in building your confidence, mindset and success habits and have your foundation set in place before you can have any real success investing in Jane the Online Marketing Genius!
EVERYTHING NATURALLY FALLS INTO PLACE
So this is the very interesting and unexpected thing that happened to me when I surrendered and I began applying building my confidence and taking baby steps. The more I trusted myself, the more things worked out and the more my confidence grew the more I trusted myself even more to take more ACTION and RISKS things just began to fall into place naturally! I stopped worrying about the how and I just kept moving forward in the direction that my flow of life was taking me and I stopped beating myself for not being perfect and not enough!
So this is what happened ON ITS OWN WITHOUT FORCE!
· I naturally started to keep my car clean and I enjoyed it, I didn’t even think about what I was doing.
· I naturally started noticing things around the house and picked it up
· After living in the same house for years, I saw things that needed to go and a simple rearrangement of the furniture and a couple of inexpensive add on’s changed the whole look and feel. This was stuff that my mind never saw before!
· My business started flowing in the right direction and I gained clarity on what I do and whom I am.
· Clients just came to me without trying to hard (that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work at it and take action!)
· Manifestations began happening more easily and frequently
· My circle of friends grew and my social life grew with loving friends (remember, I had pretty much no friends in high school and most of my life.)
· My negative mother, who always told me I had no future, tells me she’s proud of me and believes in me.
· My income grew and became more consistent.
· My organizing skills in a way that works for me fell into place on its own
· Narcs and abusive people aren’t as drawn to me as before and those who do come into my life, I now know how to shut them down without them taking away my power.
· Success and financial power is no longer an impossible dream for me, every step that I take each day puts me in the right direction, because I know how to follow it.
· My intuition has increased so much that I have to hold myself back at times from telling a stranger things that I intuitively know about them.
· I have a fun, loving, supportive relationship…by the way, remember earlier I was telling you about the emotionally abusive guy who rejected me and put me down almost everyday and who I was with when I was just wishing to die? Yeah, that’s him, I didn’t even plan this or force any change on him, everything just shifted and changed on it’s own when I chose to love and change myself!
I discovered the real key to unlocking my own breakthrough secrets and now I’m so incredibly excited to have my own career where I can teach you these secrets as well and with full support, so that it doesn’t take you years of pain and figuring this out like it did me!
You are not the only one, afraid of making the wrong decision
You are not the only one, worried about what others will think
You are not the only one, to feel vulnerable
You are not the only one, to feel stupid, shy, not important or unpopular
You are the only one, who can believe in yourself and follow your hearts desire, learn from your past, give thanks for today and change your future.
Want to know more? Contact me today !
Thanks for dropping by!
My list of accomplishments and Credentials
· Certified Hypnotherapists and NLP practitioner
· Certified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner
· Certified Law of Attraction coach
· Certified Guided Imagery Practitioner
· Confidence Coach
· Member of the American Hypnosis Association
· Professional public speaker
· Former Top Model
· Award winning writer
· Published author
· Professional writer
· Online publication contributor
· Former successful commercial actress
· CEO of This Chick Is On Fire
· Head of Ignited Women Network and Women Worry No More group
· Traveled through most of Europe
· Flew in a helicopter from breakfast in Paris to lunch in Nice then drove to Dinner in Cannes and late night caviar and eggs in Monaco in 1 day!
· Lived in Thailand for 4 years
· Went from homeless and hopeless to harmony and happy
· Ran my own catering and event planning business
· Professional manifester and Law of Attraction expert
· Dog lover
· Wine lover
· Healthy food lover
· Lover of life
Hi, I'm Jentana Lee Dabbs, founder and CEO of This Chick Is On Fire success coaching and hypnotherapy for women. I’m so excited to be sharing my story with you because it’s really been an enlightening journey to get to this point. As I’m writing this, I’m joyfully looking at a nicely decorated living room that feels good to be in, my home feels at peace and harmony, my boyfriend and I dance with the dog in the kitchen EVERY MORNING and I’m being serious, we have a selection of upbeat songs that we dance to and raise up our energy and makes our dog super happy. I recently came back from an incredible trip to the Bahamas (a trip that I manifested) I haven’t worked for anyone in years, I have an amazing group of girlfriends and after I finish writing this, I will be preparing for a beautiful dinner party I’m hosting for my girlfriends. In fact, I’ll be running out the door in a clean car to go grocery shopping and then to the gym, because I have the flexible time to do this. I go to many events and social gatherings and I can honestly say that I feel loved from the people around me. I even have a wonderfully supportive man in my life who encourages me to build my business, write my book and he does what he can to help out when I need it. And every day, I see evidence of my manifestations working for me and my path becomes more clear and abundant everyday and I recently found a list that wrote a few years back of what would success look like to me and I actually now have and could do everything on that list that I believed represented success. That really blew me away! Most of all, I am experiencing the peace, joy, love and abundance that I never thought I would experience. By the way, when I say “abundance” it’s not always about money; it’s EVERYTHING in our lives, because EVERYTHING is connected. It’s love, friendships, food, laughter, fun, celebrations…but I’ll go more into this later.
My mascot dog Terry!